The must-read book during pregnancy
I Wish Someone Had Told Me… is the best baby shower gift parents can get. It arms mums-to-be and new mothers with information that nearly one thousand been-there-done-that mums, from around the world, wish they knew before having their babies.
Because some things are just too gross or embarrassing to share, many parents don’t find out the truth about what can, and often does, happen to women until they go through it themselves. UNTIL NOW.
I Wish Someone Had Told Me… is the baby book packed with honest, factually-correct, informative, unspoken truths. It openly shares the gross, embarrassing, funny and rude things nobody likes to talk about, but every expectant mum must know. Read Excerpts Now.
Knowledge is power. Empower yourself or someone you love.
Loved, loved, loved this book.
~ Gabi Gabila
Such a great book. I couldn’t put it down.
~ Bec Young
You MUST read this book..
~ Kirstin Bouse
I wish I had this book when I was giving birth.
~ Suzan Fayle
What people say …
“I wish I’d had this book when I was giving birth. This easy read pulls no punches, but does so with humour and inclusivity. I enjoyed the positive spin. There are many words of (always non-judgemental) wisdom. I enjoyed the lightheartedness & humour in a book ostensibly about a serious matter.”~ Suzan Fayle
Tell me your story. I’d love to hear from you
I wish someone had told me …
… giving birth is nothing like in the movies
Yes, let’s just throw that myth out right from the start. Hollywood lies! There is so much more to it than pant…scream…swear…push…baby!
The image of Rachel in Friends having her baby comes to mind. Her make-up is immaculate; her hair is in gorgeous pigtails. She has a little sweat on her brow and, although she is apparently in a lot of pain, she is totally lucid making smart comments to everyone including the obstetrician. If you have that image of childbirth in your mind’s eye, please wipe it now. That’s not what happens in real life. Real childbirth is so much more, let’s call it juicy.
… how totally messy childbirth is
Some things in life we should really be warned about, this is one of them… You may be aware that having a baby is messy but probably not the extent of messiness involved. After my first boy was born Hubs dared to go down “the other end” (cue scary music!). He said it looked like I had been attacked by a grizzly bear. And that’s just the blood and gashes. Throw into the mix poo, wee, sweat, tears, vomit and bucket loads of amniotic fluid, and you have yourself one very normal, natural childbirth.
… I would easily breastfeed after having a caesarean
A friend of mine had a scheduled caesarean recently. Throughout her pregnancy “well-wishers” and “kind strangers” told her that she would have trouble breastfeeding after her caesarean. Great tip, thanks folks! It stressed her out a lot (as you can imagine) but once her baby was here she fed like a champ, right from the beginning. For some reason people thought (and some well-wishers still do) that a C-section slows your milk coming in. Not true! Milk starts being produced when the placenta is delivered; which happens no matter how you birth your baby. Provided your baby gets the paediatrician’s OK and you are up for it, you may even start feeding in the operating room while they are stitching you up. Which of course gets you bonding, so it’s a win-win. Having said that, if you have a caesarean and choose not to breastfeed, it doesn’t mean you won’t bond with your baby instantly. Bonding skin-on-skin contact is blissful, nurturing and such a wonderful way to start your life together.
… that haemorrhoids may stick around after giving birth
I know, way too much information! But you’re reading this book so I am guessing deep down you do want to know. Haemorrhoids don’t always disappear after you have your baby. And by that I mean they can stick around, or stick out if you prefer, for a while (like months!!!) after you have given birth. As they’re varicose, i.e. swollen, veins of the anus (super, thanks for sharing!), they will disappear when the swelling subsides. Just in case you weren’t grossed out enough, I had them post all three of my kidlets. They made doing number 2s so painful (the haemorrhoids that is, not the kids), even weeks after I had given birth. I remember there were a couple of times I even cried during a bowel movement, and yes, I was already on the laxatives. Some say push them back in, some say let them hang out, either way try and minimise the time they call your bum their home by looking after yourself (and them).
… PND is not just depression
Postnatal depression (PND) is a serious and vast topic. I won’t go into it too much in this book, but because it is so important I just want to outline the following essential things… PND can be lots of things not just depression. I actually didn’t know this, so when Hubs asked me, soon after #3 was born, if I thought maybe I had PND I dismissed it immediately; I wasn’t depressed, I was stressed! It wasn’t until #3 was about 15 months old and I was writing this chapter of the book and extensively researching PND I thought maybe I had had it. Was my “nervous breakdown due to severe sleep-deprivation” in fact PND, specifically PNA (postnatal anxiety), in my case? I guess I will never know.
PND and PNA can manifest as a range of feelings including4: low self-esteem and lack of confidence, feelings of inadequacy and guilt, negative thoughts, feelings of life being meaningless, feeling unable to cope, tearfulness and irritability, difficulty sleeping or changes in sleeping patterns (aside from baby’s influence), anxiety, panic attacks or heart palpitations, loss of appetite and difficulty concentrating or remembering things. Yes, having three kids in three-and-a-half years was a stressful event in itself but in hindsight I certainly could identify with a lot of those feelings.
Please, please, please say something if you are not feeling “right” after having your baby. Admission of such feelings is not a sign of weakness, it shows you are strong. Empower yourself by putting your hand up.
I would like to write new mom or mom-to-be but I am Australian, and the general population of Australia may disown me if I spell mum that way.
Excerpted from I Wish Someone Had Told Me… by Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD Copyright © 2017 by Jennifer Hacker Pearson. Excerpted by permission of Powered by Fear Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.